Video Review - Serious Performance 5

The Serious Performance series of videos has been a huge hit. The latest release - Serious Performance 5 - is likely to continue the success. It carries over the same style of narration, sound track and in-ya-face camera angles.

The opening theme for SP5 is called Show Pony Power. It's a "duel" between the well known Osman WRX and SQUZME - an equally outrageous Hyundai S Coupe. The cobwebs get well and truly blown out of the cars at Oran Park, where there's lots of general hooning, blow-off valve modulation and - of course - a straight-line tussle. Equipped with a Lancer GSR turbo motor, the orange S Coupe gives the mod'd Rex a run. The result turns out pretty one-way - but we're not gonna tell you who won... Away from the track, viewers can then admire this paranormal pair's airbrushing and detailing while on display at a recent show.

The next feature - Turning Japanese - has you entering the 2001 Tokyo Auto Salon with Dean Evans (Fast Fours magazine Editor). You've probably already seen a heap of photos taken at the Salon; the SP5 video gives more of the same. Over-the-top (some would say dubious looking) wide-body kits, massive wings and a heap of promo girls. Amongst the swarm of GT-Rs, RX-7s and a few current MR2s, there's one notable creation that might strike a chord with S13 owners - a 180SX ute. Very different!

Coverage of the Salon goes on. And on.

Reality returns to your screen with the segment Show, Go and Tow. TOWIE is a Mitsubishi Sigma sedan - but no ordinary Sigma sedan. It's powered by a worked 13B turbo, features immaculate blackberry wine paint and a custom interior. The Sigma attempts to hit the track - but engine problems soon put an end to that. Twelve months later, it's second time lucky with Bill of Maz Sports giving it some real sideways attitude. The Sigma stint finishes with a mandatory burnout.

Returning to Japan, the Mamma Memiya feature takes you to the workshop of RE-Amemiya. This mob is responsible for some horrendously quick RX-7s - mainly Series 6s - and their pride-and-joy GT racecar is no exception. It's obvious (courtesy of some Option footage) how quick this sucker is. Ride in-car for a hot lap and watch the operation of the sequential shift and the Aussie MoTeC dash. A little tamer, however, is the road legal version of the same GT racer. The video guys take the kept-the-lid-on 400hp Mazda streeter for a drive through traffic and perform a quick photo shoot. Look out for the dinosaur in the cargo area!

New Zealand is the next destination - the 4s and Rotary Nationals. Sheep Shape lets you see a lot of (mostly late-model) performance cars ranging from a quick Integra turbo to a Skyline GT-R. The biggest feature is the Series 6 RX-7 match-up between NZ's MazFix and Australia's MazTech. Both go bloody hard (that is they did once the MazTech car had its diff replaced after blowing it on the line). Next comes the curious job of destroying an early Mazda 323 hatch with a pair of sledgehammers. A couple of guys begin the work - but a whole bunch of other people soon arrive to sink their boots in and help tip the car onto its roof. O-k-a-y....

One of the most popular Japanese import cars - the R33 GTS-T - is the focus of the Shoot-Out at the GTS-T Corral piece. Professional driver Warren Luff punts a standard GTS-T and four other modified versions around the same circuit. Each car is timed to the tenth of a second. Indeed, it's interesting to see how the cars with mega-power but no suspension perform. These cars give plenty of power oversteering, tyre smoking action. Then comes some 0-100 km/h straight-line testing. These times scatter between 6.17 seconds (for the standard car) and 5.6 (modified). But it isn't the car with the most power that is the quickest. More on that subject in the next Serious Performance video - apparently.

Following the Skylines is what can only be described as a filler. Let's Go Shopping takes you through a major Japanese automotive accessories outlet - Super Autobacs. See lots of weird stuff - like crystal gear knobs, neon ashtrays, assorted suspension, fancy headlight globes, phone aerials and air fresheners.

Action hits back with California's a Drag. Check out how quick the "imports" stack-up at the West Coast Nationals drag meet. Among the line-up is an early Toyota Starlet converted to tubbed RWD and a 13B rotary running a big Turbonetics hairdryer. It's quick little beast - but it comes out very lucky to remain intact. It loses control and skims the concrete barrier with its bumper... Also featured are some of the US's quickest Hondas - some reaching into the 9s. They love 'em over there. Peek under the bonnet of an early CRX running a STR intake manifold, Hotshot exhaust manifold, T04E turbocharger and an A'PEXi GT-R intercooler. It hauls to easy 10s. There's also a few other late Civics and Integras that wheelie-bar their way to warp speed. In contrast, there's a Mazda R100 that's cracked a 7 (not in this showing, however). Interestingly enough, you can watch the R100 team setting to work on a MoTeC ECU. Other cars include the TRD Supra, a 20B turbo Eunos 30X and wild chop-top "shovel nose" Civics. The quickest atmo Honda pulls an 11.6.

Road to Nowhere really is another filler. Take a ride with Dean Evans through Tokyo in the back of a taxi (a late-model Mercedes, by the way) as the driver stops and starts asking for directions to Top Secret. After an hour and a half the driver finally gives up, dumping Dean at the side of the road in darkness - together with a fare that's the equivalent of around $110...

In One Giant Leap for Frog Kind, FROGGA - a green, tubbed Mazda 1300 wagon - receives a floggin' up and down the main straight of a racetrack. Packing a 12A turbo that's good for around 400hp, it pulls a couple of good burnouts before one of the R33 GTS-Ts from a previous segment arrives. Then it's on. You can guess which car wins a straight-line tussle...

Returning to Japan (getting jet-lag by now) we arrive at JUN headquarters for the JUN Buggies special. Their car park is filled with assorted lethal weaponry - such as full-house S15s, GT-Rs and Supras. However, the video is there to capture JUN's "Super Lemon" EVO 5 Lancer (enlarged to 2.2 litres and producing around 440kW) and mildly tweaked new-age STi Type R. Onto the highway they blast with an in-cabin camera in the Subaru. The EVO displays some impressive on-road acceleration - but the STi is no slouch either. The camera turns to the speedo - which is hard over to 180 km/h while driving on a Japanese highway!

The Unique AutoSports day at Wakefield Park sets the scene for Circuit Breakers. People who've seen SP4 will know what they're in for. Lots of late model cars - WRXs, MR2s, MX5s, GT-Rs - going ballistic on the track. Then - just when you thought it couldn't get any more mental - Japanese Motorsport shows up with their Sileighty drift car. Watch it turn rubber into smoke the whole way around the track. Lock-to-lock sideways, of course. But, when the car decides to overheat, Danny (the man behind JMS) takes to the track in another matt-black Silvia. Watch him go!

Following this is another opportunity to go to the fridge for another coldie. The next couple of minutes sees the winner of the last Serious Performance competition arrive at BD4s to pick up his $1000 gift voucher. He selects an exhaust for his Lancer GSR.

By the time you've rushed back with a refreshment, you can again say hello to Dean Evans. Back in Japan - for Ticket Prius - we jump into a Toyota Prius Hybrid to watch the fellas try to work out the navigation system and then - to top it off - get pulled over by the Police once they get going. Asked to "go home", they double-back to their accommodation - escorted by the police car the whole way!

Then we begin to wrap it up just as we started - with another show car hitting the Oran Park. The Give it to Me Baby feature sees a fully airbrushed, wheelie bar'd and turbocharged Swift (plated R BABY) make its first fire in anger. It isn't so successful, however, as the intercooler pipes kept blowing off. After having a bit of a play around (and pretty-well fixing the pipes) there's some drag action. First comes another Swift - all 1-litre slushbox of it! With jokes outa the way, some proper competition arrives. A Famialia GT-X and a scorching Starlet GT are just two. The Starlet took everyone by surprise. But then a hatchback with 237hp at the wheels will do that! Rod Turnbull takes it for a spin around the track - returning with the brake pads smoking.

Arriving near the 85 minute mark, the credits appear accompanied by a few production bloopers.

So there you have it. SP5 has more of the same kinda action and cars as seen in the previous Serious Performance tapes - plus a couple of filler stories slid in as well. Overlooking these, it's quite entertaining.