Where were those telltale bite marks on the side of Michael Ianella's neck? The two puncture scars of the dreaded performance bug... A-ha, there they were - just as I'd suspected - that nasty little critter had bitten Michael big time! Michael first started showing signs of performance-car-illness back about 5 years ago when he built up a killer VL turbo. Early symptoms were limited to an intercooler and a T04, but this soon spread to include twin turbos and even a 6-speed Hollinger gearbox. The VL's power tally eventually peaked at a measured 300kW at the rear wheels. So - yep - it already looked like the effects of the performance bug bite had taken over the brain...
After eight months passed with the twin turbos and 6-cogger, Michael then started getting unexplainable cravings. Cravings for some later-model meat. As it turned out, it was actually a friend - Peter - who came up with the right tonic. A 1991 BMW 318i complete with MoTeC M4, Sebring exhaust, M-Technic kit, full Koni suspension and 17-inch Simmons rims. Mmmm.
Michael fell in love with the personality of his newly acquired Bimmer, but - inevitably after the Commodore - he still had an itchin' for more performance. And that herbal cream just wasn't helping...
Then, just on the verge of chasing some relief, Michael suffered a major setback. Tragically, his baby copped three broken pistons while it was undergoing a careless tuning session on a chassis dyno. Ouch. Michael's family was praying for him through this difficult time, but - regardless - this was just the opening that the performance virus needed to take its irretrievable hold...
What followed was a thorough Michael McMichael bottom-end re-build, complete with 10.0:1 CR Schnitzer pistons (which are, as you'd guess, very expensive). The Australian Alpina distributor then took care of the motor's top-end, with a set of Schnitzer cams and a bigger Alpina throttle body. Certainly now, Michael's illness had been eased slightly - but it still wasn't anywhere near enough...
Michael's second bout of treatment came courtesy of a CAPA Vortech V5 centrifugal supercharger (which blows the four pot at up to 6 psi). This went under the bonnet hand-in-hand with an ex-Toyota Supra air-to-air intercooler that's hung in front of the radiator. Experts then deemed that it'd be a good move to step up to the higher-spec MoTeC M48 ECU. This was wired in along with a Bosch Motorsport fuel pump and a set of SuperTourer "monster" injectors. Leaning-out was never going to be a problem this time around! Oh, and while all of this was manifesting itself, a ceramic clutch had also moved in between the standard flywheel and 5-speed gearbox.
Following this major effort, it was suspected that the original Sebring exhaust system was now impeding Michael's all-important adrenaline flow. This was quickly up-spec'd to a 2½-inch mandrel bent system with a high-flow cat, resonator and Remus rear box.
At last, Michael had now found reprieve. But - unfortunately - we cannot report that the operation was a complete success. The first company's attempt at making the custom bracketry for the Vortech was so weak, it allowed the blower to move in relation to the engine, even at idle! So - following the advice of Dr John Keen at DAT - the BMW was then trundled off to the highly reputable K&A Engineering (who are specialists in racecar fabrication). They came back with much more elegant and beefy mountings, a balanced billet crankshaft pulley, rubber mounts for the air-to-air intercooler as well as ceramic-coated piping. This was just what the doctor had originally ordered...
So now - after numerous professional consultations - Michael finally has the performance that he needs to remain sane. Confirmation of this came when he learnt that the boosted 1.8 litre four in his BMW made a sizeable 157kW at its independent rear end. This was certainly enough to cool off Michael's day and night sweat once and for all...
Now we all know that it's dead-easy to spot someone that's been bug-bitten - it's a suffering that we enthusiasts encounter everyday. But what's the first thing that everyday people see of Michael's affliction? No, it's not some unsightly rash, it is - invariably - his Beemer's sexy M-Technic body kit. This kit (complete with skirts, side mouldings and a subtle rear spoiler) actually went onto the bare-metal re-sprayed panels back when the previous owner had it. The colour, incidentally, is a standard BMW brew.
The standard 318's pillowy suspension had also been properly seen-to at about the same time. The full Koni re-vamp sits the body 3½ inches lower to the deck and includes adjustable dampers, front camber kit and a strut bar. Together with 17-inch 215/45 Dunlop Le Mans, Michael says it's a combo that "handles like a dream". And, no, he hasn't gone delusional - yet... But this el-supremo handling did bring with it some nightmares for Michael. You see, because the wonderful BM chassis was so responsive and nimble, Michael found himself having problems with over-assistance from the factory power steering. The fix was a valve that's been plumbed into a steering line to increase steering effort (and, at the same time, make parking a bit more of a struggle). But then, doctors do recommend regular exercise for performance bug sufferers...
And now we step aboard... Inside the cosy 3-series cabin is a full set of tailored sheepskin seat covers, an Autometer boost gauge, Momo carbon fibre gear knob and a Momo/BMW wheel. Music is now played through a Pioneer CD stacker, Soundstream amp, 12-inch subwoofer, 5-inch Kenwood rears and 5-inch Pioneer front splits. Certainly, Michael's 318 is an extra-comfy ride on a nice day - and it sure is a whole lot better than the sterile accommodation of B (ie bug) Ward!
Now you'd think that after enduring so much stress and suffering, Michael's performance sickness would now be all but over. Well, it is - and it isn't...You see, the car itself is quick enough to keep Michael's on the straight and narrow, the problem is that he doesn't get any time to use it. Instead, he's had to go out and buy a Tickford XR8 ute for his more mundane work duties. And - guess what - Michael's already starting to get that bloody itch again! Having barely bought the big Ford, he has lined up some massive 20 inch rims - and is even thinking about going for another supercharger...
Oh, Lord - is there no cure to the bite of the mighty bug?
Contacts:
DAT (Darlington Auto Tune)
+61 8 8277 4222
CAPA (Centrifugal Air Pumps Australia)
+61 8 8582 3499
K&A Motorsport
+61 8 8269 5233
Michael McMichael Motors
+61 8 8362 4788
