Permit me to rave, once again, if I may.
Sitting here, surrounded by the suburban splendour that many have compared to the Playboy Mansion, I've been watching the automobilia pass and have been pondering which cars I'd actually consider purchasing.
New, I mean.
No, not actually for myself (me in a new car? never!), but for a friend who's looking at starting a job where he gets a company car, and may even get a choice of cars. So one more 242GT leaves the driveway (I'd *sniff* except it's not mine so I've no emotional attachment), and a brand spanking shiny new example of the industry's current finest will appear in its stead.
Of course, it'll probably be a Falcodore or Camga or even an Avalon; these fleet things are usually cars that are made here, 'cos the cars built here have the biggest fleet discounts. So what, exactly, would I be interested in getting? No V8's, probably no automatics ... hell, I'd probably actually get an Avalon!
Now, this decision scares me. What does it say about me? I've just checked and the family jewels are still there... on analysis, I think I'd go the Avalon just because it's something a little different, something that every man and his dog doesn't have yet. But when you don the brown cardigan willingly, surely that means all that's left on offer are beige cardigans... None of the others is particularly interesting. All three - Magna, Commodore and Falcon - actually look OK, and the Camry is sufficiently inoffensive that just a set of big wheels can make 'em look good. But despite the fact that the styling's OK, I just can't find any interest in any of them; they're Kelvinators on wheels (yeah, I know new fridges have castors on them, but you know what I mean).
I suspect a lot of car enthusiasts go through a similar process when thinking about new cars; there's a whopping range of vehicles available (over a thousand individual models go on sale every year), but so many are whitegoods that it's hard to conjure up any enthusiasm over them.
There are, obviously, exceptions. The Australian-made big V8s certainly have a bit of character, although many would argue that these big bangers' souls have withered over the years. Having ditched the Pulsar SSS, the only Nissan that's interesting here is the 200SX, which has looks that had Nissan considering renaming it the PocketProtector, and is ageing badly when the new model's been selling for months and months in Japan. The French still make cars with some panache, with almost the entire Peugeot range at least looking nice, but even then there are only a couple of truly interesting models in the mix.
I like the small, chuckable and damned quick turbo AWD sedans; but (again there's a "but"), the Impreza WRX is the only one that's still for sale here at a reasonable price - and they're like arseholes (ie everyone has one! — Ed). Julian might disagree and point to the fairly new A4-bodied 2.7 twin-turbo Audi S4 (and I was informed recently that there's a manual model coming soon, if it isn't here yet — I must confirm that, because if true, it topples the whole S4 concept from balancing on "nice" into the chasm of "phwoar"), but then I'd point to the price tag and indicate how few of them it would take to add to the cost of a nice piece of comfortable real estate. Similarly, all the other exciting cars are either too expensive (just looking at a Peugeot 406 coupe revs up the salivary glands — but driving it may be a different matter), or way too expensive (I really need to test drive one of those new open-topped Ferrari 360 Modenas ...).
OK, OK, so maybe I'm a cheapskate, but try as you might, you'd find it difficult to actually live in a convertible Ferrari. I think I'd give it a try for a while, but that whole shower thing would be hell on the carpets.
It's intruding into an old topic, but when you look at the cost, as an enthusiast you really are often a lot better off getting an old car and doing the Frankenstein conversion to it. Someone was recently telling me about a mint, comfortable Datsun 1200 with SR20DET and great handling, and how it'd cost the same amount of money as a new Hyundai Accent. I know which I'd rather drive, and be seen driving.
And after all, I suppose it's our fault. If you were asked whether you preferred your car quieter (without thought of any downsides, like the loss of exciting noises too), you'd surely say yes. If asked whether extra comfort was a good thing (not even considering the possible consequences of reduced feedback and feel, and 4WD-like seasickness when cornering), you'd probably say yes. If asked whether power windows, power mirrors, central locking (even in a 2-door coupe), etc are good things (again, not even thinking about any extra weight they might add, or parts cost that might be better spent on suspension components), you'd probably say yes too.
When you sit down and really think about it, most of us - where 'us' is the buying public - don't think about the consequences; we all want the luxury shite and want it cheaply — which must mean cutting out the real stuff, the interesting stuff.
I don't understand the costings involved, because I just don't see why even the base-model cars can't have just a bit more ... flair. Would grandpa really be offended if the lightest Commodore or Falcon had a bit of HSV or TVE suspension development; they're not slow cars, and given some handling, could be really fun. But I suppose there are marketing concerns too. If your base car sticks like baby-bog to the proverbial blanket, it's probably hard to sell the topline "performance" model for triple the price.
Yeah, the marketing people know more about selling cars than I do; the car companies are only there to make money, and people have decided that "beige" cars are the money-makers. But regardless of all that, it's still depressing to see more and more cars with a bit of pizazz falling by the side of the sales road.
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