I've held it back long enough, and can hold it no longer. All it took was one more dimwit to do something stupid once again; and I've no recourse against her except to cry out "Four Wheel Drives Suck!!"
Now, I know a number of people reading this will know all about my hatred for the use of trucks when trucks aren't warranted. But when the stupid things seem to be around in plague proportions, I really feel the need to vent my spleen somewhere, and this is it.
The list of what's wrong with SUV's and 4WD's is so long I doubt I can write it all down here. To start with, they're big and unwieldy, with road manners somewhat closer to those of a semi-trailer than a real car. With very few exceptions they have acceleration most kindly described as "modest", leaving you hanging out on the other side of the road in overtaking maneuvres wishing you were driving a 1976 Corolla with a two-speed automatic transmission because it has more power. And those 4WD's that are able to exceed "modest" are busy chewing through fuel as though they weighed multiple tonnes. Hang on, they do weigh multiple tonnes ...
Trying to steer one of these monstrosities on the road is like driving an oil tanker up the local stream; the things fill the entire lane and have little or no road-feel. I assume that's why most people driving them don't appear to have any idea of where they are on the road, and why at highway speeds they wander aimlessly back and forth between the inside and outside of their lane (if they manage to stay inside their lane at all, that is).
And the handling ... ohhh, the handling. There are two types of suspension these things have, which is good for variety I suppose. There's the axle-bolted-solid-to-the-chassis type, where every little road irregularity is transmitted into the vehicle, throwing it off line; and there's the marshmallow-wallow style, which will leave passengers prone to sea-sickness grabbing for the paper bags. And some of them manage to combine the best of both; a good dose of bodyroll coupled with jarring shocks bouncing the vehicle all over the tarmac.
Not to mention parking the things. Many of them are used as the family hack - despite having such little room for their exterior size - so the main place you'll see them is down at the local shopping centre doing seven-point turns (and scraping the real cars) because they're so long and wide and have such useless turning-circles.
And why on earth do the 4WD manufacturers insist on putting false tail-lights on the things? You're driving along carefully watching the stream of traffic in front of you and paying particular notice to the eye-level tail-lights of a brand new Patrol, when suddenly the vehicle slows without warning - and those lights do nothing! Their darkness must be some ceremonial peace-offering to the God of Mud or something, because so many 4WD's have fake tail-lights where tail-lights should be, and dinky little indicators and brakes way down below the tail-gate where you can't see them!
But I suppose that fits in well with the safety of these things, or rather the lack of it. It must be really convenient for SUV/4WD makers not to be required to meet passenger safety regulations; saves a lot of money, allowing them to keep that legendary profit margin per vehicle!
So if they suck so hard, why do people buy them? Well, I suppose there are a number of reasons. The least of these would be a need for a truck to do something, like carrying a number of passengers, carrying lots of grits to Uncle Jed's place, towing horses, or even that offroad usage that 5% of 4WD owners partake in. And I suppose I don't even begrudge these people their 4WD's, because they have a reason to be driving one - although they're threatening my life, they do actually have real needs.
Then there's the poor driver that admits to themselves that they're a hazard on the road, and they buy a truck in order to save their own lives at the expense of everyone else's. You know, the person who has the seat right up to the wheel, and hunches over it in order to get closer to the windscreen. "I can see so much better", they cry, although considering that they don't seem to look past the car in front of them it seems rather a moot point. Oh, and the extra size of the car ensures that they block more of the road when they double-park outside the school in the afternoon, thankful for the power-windows so they can call their kids across the street without having to get out of their seat.
So down to the main reason for buying a 4WD/SUV; appearances and a feeling of power. Barring the fact that they're showing the world they can afford to buy and run the things, there are actually people out there that think a pumped-up metal brick looks good! Hell, my Volvo has more styling, and it's 20 years old! Bolt on a few chunks of grey-painted plastic and stick a chrome grille the size of Texas on it, and it looks even better! And don't forget you've got to have the spare wheel cover with "Back Off!" emblazoned across it, just to prove you're a truly dangerous, aggressive and macho driver; which anyone watching you could tell anyway.
Of course, it's irrelevant that the things feel so bad to drive. It's irrelevant that they won't out-accelerate a Mini, won't go around a corner at the posted limit, and cost three times a similarly-sized real car to run. It's irrelevant that their poor handling makes them so much more likely to wipe out a family in a real car, with all that extra momentum behind them. It's irrelevant that they block the traffic so much; anyone who has done an advanced driving course will tell you that the first thing they were told was to watch beyond the traffic ahead of them, yet in a real car you can't see past an SUV.
So there's no way you can come to any conclusion other than these people being selfish; they're willing to splatter real people in their real cars, just so they can be King of the Road bullies.
Ah, that feels better!
